The Challenge of Spiritual Family Headship

The Challenge of Spiritual Family Headship

Pastor Leonard Roy Harris

 

Dear all, here is a message that I preached on Sunday July 21^st. Please read it and let me know what you think.

Thank you.

Pastor Harris

Saints, I write out my messages as a way of committing them to you so that you can study and apply them to your own lives as the Lord leads even once you leave service. I do this because part of my charge as Jesus’ under shepherd is to allow him to use me to help him in feeding you. So, first, he feeds me, so that he can feed you through me.

Believe me when I tell you that I seek the Lord and wait on him to reveal what he wants to share with me. Then he can share it with you through me in such as way so that you can run the race that he has outlined for you. But also understand, that he holds me even more accountable to be obedient to what he shares with me, even before he shares it with you through me.

So, in a sense, I am following Habakkuk’s testimony where he says:

“I will take my stand at my watch post and station myself on the tower, and look out to

see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint. [2] And the

LORD answered me; Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads

1. [3] For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end-it will not lie. If it

seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:1-3

 

So, there is something that Christ Jesus wants to make plain to you and me so that we can all run the race laid out for us by him even better. And we can do this as believers as well as believers who are heads of households. So here it is:

Saints, we must all realize that Satan hates your family and mine, and that he has a number of schemes to attack us. It is very important that we are aware of these schemes so we can guard against them. This is particularly true for heads of households.

Paul himself said the following in 2 Corinthians 2: 5-11:  ^“Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. ⁶ For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, ⁷ so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. ⁸ So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. ⁹ For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. ¹⁰ Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, ¹¹ so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes.”

Now, you and I may know that here Paul is talking about the church of Corinth, where a man had been sleeping with his stepmother. And so, the members had cut off fellowship with him, but he repented, and so Paul said withholding fellowship was enough punishment and that they should forgive him, welcome him back into fellowship, and reaffirm their love for him.

In fact, Paul said, if they forgave him, that he would forgive him as well. Then he revealed why he had written to them, that it was to test if they would be obedient and forgive that man.

Saints, the reason that I am bringing this up is to point to one of Satan’s most devastating schemes not only for a church family, but also for your family and mine, and that scheme is unforgiveness.

Paul as an apostle of Christ Jesus was being used by him as the head of the church of Corinth, which was not a building, but the people in fellowship with one another and with the Lord. As that head, he wrote to them, to test their obedience and to alert them to Satan’s scheme of unforgiveness which he was using to break the unity of that church family because he hated them.

So, let’s all look at our families, is there any unforgiveness in them? In fact, do any of us who are spiritual family heads hold any unforgiveness for any family member?

When you and I as the spiritual heads of our families submit personally to Jesus as our head, that provides a spiritual covering over our children, and also over our wives for those who are married, that is, if we are obedient to the Lord ourselves.

If we are not obedient, that compromises our spiritual covering and allows Satan to work his schemes within our families which produces family dysfunction. One of his major schemes is unforgiveness, and Satan always attacks the spiritual head. He works hard to bring unforgiveness between husband and wife, parents and children and between siblings. In fact, Satan works hard to cause husbands and wives to argue about money, child rearing and sex and many other issues. That is why it is so important for us as spiritual heads of families to hold fast to Christ Jesus as our head so that through us he can spread his protection over our children and for those who are married over their wives and children.

Saints, Jesus can only extent that protective covering through you and me as spiritual heads if we are personally submitted to him as our head. So, let’s look at some of Satan’s schemes against those of us who are spiritual heads in our families.

The bottom line is that your family and mine as well as our church family is a gathering of relationships. So, let’s look a little at how Satan attacks relationships between people. We can begin with Ephesians 4:25-32 which I will present as a pastoral paraphrase from a family perspective. So here goes:

“Stop being fake and phony with each other, speak the truth because you belong to each other. If you get angry, with a family member, don’t take it out on them, instead try to work it out until it is resolved. In fact, don’t go to bed until it is peacefully solved, in this way, you will keep the devil from getting into the family through unresolved anger.

Don’t steal from one another. Instead get an honest job so you can help one another meet their needs. Support and be there for one another.

Don’t curse, disrespect, lie on, and gossip on one another. Instead, encourage, support, and build up one another so you can all experience the grace of God among you and will not grieve the Holy Spirit who has sealed you until Jesus comes.

Watch out for and refuse to give in to any attitude of bitterness, and wrath and anger and clamor and slander. Put it away along with any hatred and malice.

Instead of an attitude of bitterness, take on an attitude of kindness. Instead of an attitude of wrath and anger and stirring up conflict and drama, take on an attitude of tender feelings and affection for one another.

If you do this, you will be able to forgive on another just as God in Christ forgave you.”

There is a certain attitude of mind that you and I as spiritual family heads must model, practice and teach in our homes as revealed in Philippians 2:1-5 which I will also present as a family pastoral paraphrase. So, here goes:

“As a family member you must get personal encouragement from Christ so you can encourage your family. You must get comfort because you know that Jesus loves you so you can show loving comfort to your family. You must be living in the Spirit so that he can give you affection and sympathy for your family members.

So, there are some core family values that can ensure family unity. You must have the same attitude of mind among yourselves as a family. You must love one another equally, and you must agree with one another.

You all must agree together that no one will operate out of selfish ambition or conceit, but that every family member would practice humility by counting other family members as more significant than yourself. You must agree that each family member would look not only to their own interests, but also to the interests of other family members. For all of this to happen, each family member must have within themselves the mind of Christ because they have received Christ.”

Yes, all of this can be faked in church services, but it must be lived out in our homes.

James 4 reveals what can cause family conflict. Let’s look at that together. So, here we go:

 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions^[a] are at war within you?^[b] 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

³ You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

⁴ You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? ⁶ But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

⁷ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

⁸ Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

You and I can see that our family members friendship with the worlds way of meeting their needs stirs up their passions for possessions, sex, money, power and recognition, which produces murder, fighting, and pride which makes the Holy Spirit and jealous and brings God’s opposition.

The only way for your family and mine to get out of this cycle of dysfunction is by the grace of God. This requires the spiritual head of the family to model and teach the need for each family member to:

1. Submit to God’s authority so they can resist the devil’s schemes and the devil will run away from the family.
2. Draw near to God through knowledge of, belief in and obedience to his word, knowing that he will draw closer to each family member who chooses to do this.
3. In drawing near to God, he will direct each family member to choose to cleanse themselves from sinful habits and behavior and to stop being double-minded in their relationship with him, which causes them to be so unstable in their lives.
4. He will guide family members through seasons of conviction, mourning, weeping and mourning over their sins as his way of bringing them to humility before him so that he can lift them up in victory.

As spiritual heads of a family, you and I must not be ignorant of these schemes of Satan against our families, instead we must model and teach them which requires each of us to spend much time with the Lord Jesus in prayer and in the word of God.

Here is today’s practical application “take away”. Your protective covering and mine for our family is detailed, consistent intercessory warfare prayer for each family member, but that can only flow out of your personal consistent time and mine with our head Christ Jesus through spending time with him as Jesus the Living Word of God, in the bible, the Written Word of God.

This is why Satan seeks to disarm you and me by taking away the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. That word that God wants those of us who are his spiritual family heads to model, obey and teach to our family members. Satan also works at keeping you and me away from serious and heart felt intercessory warfare prayer for our family members.

All of this is the responsibility of every family spiritual head and the responsibility of every under shepherd to model, teach and train those family heads. In fact, 1 Timothy 3:4,5 says: “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, ⁵ for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”

Saints let’s all agree to strengthen one another in our various families as spiritual family heads.